To Journal or NOT to Journal
I was about twelve years old and feeling sad. I had just switched schools but was held back and all my new classmates knew. I was too assertive for the girls and not feminine enough for the boys. I loved sports and they allowed me to use my natural aggression but I wanted boys to like me too. I was lost. My closest friends were from the church but I didn’t seem to fit in there. My struggle was real. I went to private school where I wasn’t “white enough” to be included but the neighborhood told me I wasn’t “black enough” to be accepted.
My mom was single parent and I had to catch the bus to pick my brother up from daycare. But there was always an hour or so between getting home from school and catching the bus to get the little man. For whatever reason, namely all the above, I was super down. I remember one of our youth directors telling us if we ever felt like we couldn’t talk to God to try writing. So I did, I got out a book to write on, grabbed some paper from my school bag and I went to town. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. I wrote so much my wrist was hurting. But I had a lot to say. I felt invisible, un-loveable, weird like something was wrong with me, I felt alone. Why couldn't I make friends, why was it so hard? No matter what I did I just couldn’t do it, it was a constant struggle.
When I finished I was leaving the house late for the bus stop. But as I was walking I realized, man that felt good! It just felt good to write it out. I wasn’t exactly sure if God heard me or read my note but I was sure that I felt better. Sometimes it’s good to just get stuff off your chest. That’s when I realized journaling was the way for me. It was the way for me to express myself. I was going to write my feelings. I wasn’t sure I’d have nice fancy words or poetic palindromes but I was going to express myself.
Name a journaling alternative 🤷♀️ I do not know. I found journaling at such a young age I never looked for an alternative. But maybe it’s talking, rather with family, friend(s), or a professional, maybe it’s taking a run top the top of a hill and just talking out loud. Or, maybe there is another method. Either way don’t hold it in, find a way to constructively express yourself.
Journaling does it for me.
#thoughtlifeco
