This was the second Woman Evolve conference. Last year I attended too but I was so hurt, so broken I went because I just needed a place of refuge. Somewhere I could cry and it be ok. So many other women would be so immersed in their own world I could hide in the crowd. I could be in the presence of God with other women that understood, even if they didn’t know.
But this year was different, I just knew I wanted to attend but I hadn’t quite decided on my expectations in attending. I had such a good time last year, I knew I had to be there again this year. I was always taught to place expectation when making an investment. Attending this conference is an investment for me, an investment into my person. So what is it that I wanted to learn this year, what would I want to take away?
I determined what it was, I wanted help with figuring out my next steps for Thought Life Co. I was struggling with what they would be so why not attend a conference that not only cared about the inner person but also help them in their interests. So that was it, I asked, prayed, the Lord would give me direction, understanding, teaching, on what was next.
I should’ve known that my prayers would be answered quickly. It was in the first session that I learned what was next for me & this blog. Pastor Sarah Jakes-Roberts preached a message titled “Skin In the Game.” Funny title, but after the message I knew this was just for me. See, I’ve known since late last year, 2018, that I wanted to start a blog. I wanted to write about my struggles with mental illness particularly depression. I wanted to help people but I also wanted my life to remain private. Those that know me know I’ve kept to myself and only shared when compelled. Sharing with the World Wide Web is totally out of my comfort zone. I like my life of inconspicuousness, being in relative obscurity is comforting to me. But the time has come for me to put some #SkinInTheGame. What does that mean? For me, it means it’s time for me to own this blog, it’s time for me to acknowledge that it’s me, Kriston, on this site. I have posted multiple times, and my about page says very little about me…but soon that will change. Give me a chance to update it properly. #SkinInTheGame means owning this site, my content, the process of building it, and what comes with it: the good, the bad, and all that is in between. It means stating openly that I, Kriston, have struggled with mental illness, specifically depression, and I work diligently to maintain my mental health.
Putting your name on mental illness is difficult, even though the climate around the topic is changing. I found it hard to own to the WHOLE WORLD 🌎. I also believe by owning my struggles I will be able to better assist others. I can’t help others deal with their shame, if I haven’t & refuse to deal with mine. That’s called putting #SkinInTheGame. I was lead to create this blog after reading story, after story of young people ending their lives and living with out any HOPE. It was hard to read and not be compelled to act. But just dipping my toe in the water without the sacrifice of submergence is not being true to myself and those I aim to help. I must be honest about where I am, giving others the space to honest too.
The opening session started me on my way, in ways I wasn’t expecting. This meant my hopes and expectations for the next sessions, along with the next day would grow exponentially. This conference did not disappoint.
If I want to see lives changed through our message of endurance, hope, belief in God and one’s self, I had to be willing to demonstrate it starts with me.
Thank You SJR…your opening session set the my expectations for what was an EVOLVING experience.
#thoughtlifeco
